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100themes: WordsJorie's hobby, were you to ask him, was picking. He could pick a pocket, he could pick out a killer from a line-up, he could pick out a tune on the banjo he lugged everywhere. He'd, when the time came to it, been subjected to picking noses and scabs of petulant children. He had also, when the time came to it, been made to pick who would be fired and who would be promoted. Sometimes when nobody was looking he picked flowers.In all honesty Jorie's preoccupation might've been better described as 'choosing', had Jorie's other preoccupation for homonyms not dominated.Thus, when he heard someone enter his house in the middle of the night, Jorie was immediately prepared to choose a facial expression expressing extreme displeasure, a phrase with which to kick off the no doubt unbearable conversation which was to ensue, and also a nice strong bat.Jorie gripped the bat with his mucus-encrusted fingers and picked the bat-raising pose he felt would do the most damage to his attacker; legs sprea
100themes: DrinkA stupid and arrogant manDecided to seek out new landsHe chartered a shipAnd went for a dipIn the desert without any sandsFor years he sailed far and wideAt the mercy of terrible tidesDiseased and aloneWith flesh gnawed to the boneFrom when he'd been peckish at nightThe sailor was on his last leg(The other being nought but a peg)In the depths of his failureHe thought of dear StraylaAnd took a harpoon to his head- Excerpt from 'The Big Book Of Accumulated Ancestral Knowledge"There once was a foolhardy StrayWho made the ocean his preyBut in order to floatHe needed a boatSo that was a wasted day- Traditional Straylan Nursery RhymeSome dirty-faced, shit-eating fuckDecided that he'd try his luckBy going to seaOh whoop-de-fucking-dee!He was eaten by mermen and ducks!!- Ronnie Burp, Straylan Humourist"Bloody brilliant" breathed Kelly as she looked out across the sea.When she had heard stories of the ocean it had never seemed so impressive;